Seriously, what a week. Death seems to just be staring me in the face this week. So many people I know facing death....some young...some old. Today I just read on a friend of Annie's blog a wife lost her husband last night to cancer. We have been following these people and praying with them as they go through this tough time. I can't imagine losing someone so close.
Last night at youth group we talked about death and how it comes so unexpected. We talked about the importance of family. I lost it then in front of all them. I couldn't keep in the tears. My grandfather is having surgery this weekend to correct his heart. I love him a lot, and want to see him live more years to come. I want him to see my children. He is only in his 60's. Such memories we share together as I was growing up. He taught me how to fish, and we would go often. I am remember the day when he watched me catch my first bass. We talk about that day a lot when we see each other. Even though this stuff is hard I believe God is good. My other grandpa asked me yesterday if I would be his pall bearer, and one of my favorite pastors is battle brain cancer. I am sure that I will see more of this as I get older. I just never expected it to all hit me at once.
The thing that has been ringing through my mind is, "what happens when things get worse? What will be my response? Will I believe God is good? Will I continue to seek Him?" I am constantly brought back to 2 Cor 4:17. "For our light and momentary afflictions are but for a moment in comparison that surpassing weight of glory that awaits us." The thing that God seems to be saying to me is that this will only last for a while, its not permanent. Even if it continues the rest of your life, in comparison to heaven its just a grain of sand in the ocean.
I want my life to be like the Johnson family who endure cancer to the end. Josiah, who breathed his last breath last night, was a father that loved his children and his wife. That was evident, but the way his family endured this trial and the whole time praising God for His goodness. That takes a man of God to point his family in such a direction. Only a husband that loves Jesus could remind his family of the goodness of God, despite the death that seemed to be approaching sooner and sooner. I want to be this man.